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AUGUST 2024 Newsletter: We Can ALL Be Advocates

"All advocacy is, at its core, an exercise in empathy.” ~ Samantha Power⁣

There are so many ways we can show up as advocates. ADVOCACY is defined by the Missouri Foundation for Health as “any action that speaks in favor of, recommends, argues for a cause, supports or defends, or pleads on behalf of others.” As caregivers, we balance many of these roles as we stand up for ourselves, our loved ones, and fellow caregivers.

The West Virginia University Health Science Center denotes three types of advocacy: self-advocacy, individual advocacy, and systems advocacy.

There are numerous ways we can be advocates, but, as Erin Galyean emphasizes in her book "Badass Advocate," we can't do them alone. That's why this month we have stressed the importance of CREATING our support networks, MANAGING our stress, and COMMUNICATING effectively. By finding hope and support in one another, we can heal and recover together.

"A Badass Advocate doesn't try to do it all by herself, rather she leads to a strong team who works to fight for the patient." - Erin Galyean, author of "Badass Advocate"

Check out our entire August newsletter focused on Advocacy here.

It Takes Courage to Ask

“Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help.” – Brené Brown

As caregivers, we often feel alone in our journey – in our pain, our joys, and our caring. But this journey of life was not meant to be taken alone. We all need a strong support network for ourselves AND each other.

Having a support network as a caregiver is essential, and it’s a two-way street. Supporting other people also allows us to contribute and feel valued beyond our caregiving role.

Yet, it can be hard to ask for help. We all like to be considered strong, independent, and capable, and asking for support seems like a show of weakness. But asking for help actually shows incredible strength and courage. It takes a strong but humble person to recognize when help is needed and that it’s OK to ask. We are all imperfect, and we can grow by letting others help us through a challenge or a crisis.

AdvocacyKristi HornerAugust 8, 2024Support Network, Creating Your Support Network

AUGUST 2023 Newsletter: Self-Advocacy for Caregivers

Caregivers play many important roles in their journey of providing care to someone they love - one is that of ADVOCATE. Caregivers advocate on behalf of their loved ones all the time to assure they receive the necessary medical care and support, and that their needs are heard.

As caregivers we're good at caring for and advocating for our loved ones' care and concerns. What about us? Who's advocating for the caregiver? It turns out not only is Courage to Caregivers advocating for family caregivers - many other agencies are as well (check out the second section of resources below).

It's also important as caregivers to advocate for ourselves - self-advocacy. What do you NEED? What are YOUR goals, values, interests and desires? Your loved one, as the patient, has rights (and responsibilities) ... and you do, too!

We see self-advocacy as self-care. Self-advocacy is three-tiered - knowing yourself, knowing what your needs are, and knowing how to get your needs met.

The Self Advocate Net has a great definition of self-advocacy: "Self-advocacy is the ability to speak up for yourself and the things that are important to you. Self-advocacy means you are able to ask for what you need and want and tell people about your thoughts and feelings. The goal of self-advocacy is for you to decide what you want then develop and carry out a plan to help you get it."

5 TOOLS TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF:

NOTICE: What do you NEED? What are your goals, values, interests, and desires? As you focus on building self-awareness, use self-reflection. Remember KNOWLEDGE is power.
SELF-EMPOWERMENT: Self-empowerment allows you to see more in yourself. Self-empowerment starts with BELIEVING in yourself. Notice your SELF-TALK: Stop and reframe. SELF-RESPECT: How can you empower YOURSELF? SELF-WORTH: You are worthy of love, kindness and respect. PERSEVERANCE: Don't give up when things get tough!
YOU'RE NEVER ALONE: Having a SUPPORT NETWORK to support you in your self-advocacy journey is essential. Find someone to fit each of your needs - mental, emotional, social, physical, resources, financial or even validation. Who's cheering you on, and believes in you? Join a support group - our group coaching is a great form of support network!
SELF-REGULATION: Regulating with the 7 Cs:
- I didn’t cause it: Accepting you didn't cause your loved one's illness releases feelings of guilt and shame.
- I can’t cure it: Care - support - love.
- I can’t control it: You can't force someone else's recovery. You can support and encourage.
- I can’t change it: Acceptance. My loved one is living with mental illness. Therefore, I am a mental illness caregiver.
- YET, I can have courage, compassion and I can COPE.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: Caregivers exist in community, whether it is you and your loved one or you and a large family or other system. Learning to be assertive as you communicate will help you in the long run to solve problems, advocate for yourself and help maintain relationships and healthy boundaries. USE "I" LANGUAGE to express your feelings and take responsibility for them.

If it's been awhile since you’ve considered your own needs as a caregiver, find even a micro-moment today to start prioritizing them.

Check out entire August newsletter focused on Advocacy here.

Learning How to Ask

For five years, we’ve been sharing tools, tips, and tricks about the importance of having a support network. This week, I’m focusing on how difficult it is to ASK FOR HELP.

As caregivers, we’d much rather give help than ask for help. There are a lot of reasons why it’s hard for caregivers to ask for help:

Fear ... They may say “NO!”
Burden … I’ll appear needy.
Weakness … The other person will have “power.”
Incompetence … I’m supposed to have it “all” together. I like being self-reliant.
Vulnerability … Asking for help exposes my true feelings and emotions.

For many years, I didn’t want to ask for help. I’d been trained, seemingly since birth, to be independent and take care of myself. It was HARD to ask for help, and I didn’t like it.

AdvocacyKristi HornerAugust 9, 2023Creating Your Support Network, Support Network

Collaboration ... We are Better TOGETHER - November 2021 Newsletter

As human beings, we are hard-wired to connect - for COLLABORATION. Our brains have a NEED to connect with others in order to THRIVE.

Collaboration also can help caregivers move from SURVIVAL mode to THRIVAL mode.

THRIVAL is defined in the urban dictionary as "looking beyond your soul into the deepness of society's problems; sacrificing yourself and going beyond one's comfort zone in order to help the people around you."

I've met a lot of caregivers over the years - all of them are on a journey ... and it is definitely one of THRIVAL. But at Courage to Caregivers, we recognize that you may feel as though you’re languishing when you start out on your journey. That’s why we’ve added the concept of self-care to our own definition of THRIVAL. Our programs work to support caregivers in THRIVING, too.

Join us and find out how you, too, can move from languishing to flourishing - it's possible to THRIVE as a caregiver.

Read the full newsletter here.

With a Support Network, You’re Never Alone

As we turn the calendar to November, we begin National Family Caregivers Month, a month that celebrates YOU – the unpaid family caregiver. At Courage to Caregivers, you are our “WHY” – why we do what we do – providing hope, support, and courage to caregivers of those living with mental illness. And that leads right into our topic for this week – support network – as part of this month’s theme of collaboration.

CollaborationKristi HornerNovember 4, 2021Support Network

With a Good Team, You’re Never Alone

Caregivers have to make many important decisions that affect their loved ones, their families, and themselves. These are HARD decisions, and they can weigh heavily on our minds, adding to our burdens and our stress. It’s all part of the long journey of caregiving, but that journey can get a little easier when you realize that you do not have to travel it alone.

ManagementKristi HornerSeptember 24, 2020Support Team, Support Network

Reprioritize Your Support Team

For caregivers, his insights show how critical it is to stay connected and to have a solid support team by our side, and that’s our theme for this week. Who do you have that you can rely on in times of need or crisis, or to celebrate a victory?

SocialKristi HornerAugust 6, 2020Support Team, Support Network

Who’s on Your Support Team?

Take a moment and think about those people in your life that you can truly rely on, who are always there when you need them. These are your social supports, and they might be anybody – family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, or community members.

SocialKristi HornerAugust 22, 2019Support Network, Support Team, Caregiver Support

We All Need Support

Early in our “idea phase” for Courage to Caregivers, I would tell people about my experience of providing emotional support as a long-distance mental illness caregiver for my younger brother. Then, I would share my idea for improved self-care for caregivers. Many friends and stakeholders often immediately asked the question – “Why is self-care so important to YOU?” …

Relationships, Self-CareKristi HornerJanuary 17, 2019Support Network, Self-Care

Who's on Your Team?

Years ago, when I would send my young son with a learning difference to school each day with words of encouragement, I sometimes felt that it was just him and me against the world. It took all we had – mother and son – to keep it together … and it was exhausting! …

RelationshipsKristi HornerSeptember 20, 2018Support Network, Caregiver Support, Back-to-School

Back to School Anxiety .. and Opportunities

It's back-to-school time again, and we all know what that means. It can be a time of joy. (Can't wait to see friends again! Looking forward to learning new things.) Or a time of sadness (Summer is over already! My kids are growing up too fast.) Or a time of anxiousness. (What will my teachers be like? Will I make any new friends?) Most likely, it will be a combination of all these feelings. …

ManagementKristi HornerAugust 30, 2018Support Network, Stress, Back-to-School

June Self-Care

The summer weather is here. . . And it is a great time for you to focus on your own self-care while you love on your family member who is living with mental illness. …