It Takes Courage to Ask
“Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help.” – Brené Brown
As caregivers, we often feel alone in our journey – in our pain, our joys, and our caring. But this journey of life was not meant to be taken alone. We all need a strong support network for ourselves AND each other.
Having a support network as a caregiver is essential, and it’s a two-way street. Supporting other people also allows us to contribute and feel valued beyond our caregiving role.
Yet, it can be hard to ask for help. We all like to be considered strong, independent, and capable, and asking for support seems like a show of weakness. But asking for help actually shows incredible strength and courage. It takes a strong but humble person to recognize when help is needed and that it’s OK to ask. We are all imperfect, and we can grow by letting others help us through a challenge or a crisis.
One key to ensuring that you get the help you need is to create your own support network. Here are three tools to help you do that.
(1) DETERMINE WHAT YOU NEED, and keep a running list so that whenever someone asks you how they can help, you’re ready to share what you need, whether it’s:
Emotional support - someone to listen or process or provide insight
Physical support - respite care, groceries, a ride, gardening
Practical support - resources or tools
(2) REFRAME. Think of your request as GIVING someone else the opportunity and privilege of helping you.
(3) GIVE & GET. Make it part of your practice to ask others, “How can I support YOU?” This opens the door to authentic conversations, makes you a role model, and makes asking for help easier when YOU need it.
Of course, at Courage to Caregivers, we want to be an important part of YOUR support network – whether you follow us on social media, attend a Fireside Chat a few times a year, attend a book group once a month, are matched with a peer supporter, or participate in one of our weekly programs. Check out our “Who’s on YOUR Team” page on our website with links to all kinds of resources for caregivers!
Creating a support group means being vulnerable and letting others in. By doing so, you are forging connections that are mutually beneficial to both you and those in your network. Start small with micro-moments and micro-steps, and put your support group to work for YOU.