What Would You Say in a Valentine to You?
“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” ~ Anna Freud
I probably don’t have to remind you that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. No matter where I go, I am reminded by big displays of pink and red that it is a day to celebrate love. There’s no doubt a lot of cards and candy are sold for Valentine’s Day to help us express our love for others. But for our purposes, I want to encourage you to take some time to focus on self-love, too.
Our topic this week is actually Identifying Your Strengths, and the theme this month is Self-Discovery. Identifying your strengths is a powerful form of self-love because it involves recognizing, valuing, and embracing what makes you unique and capable.
As caregivers, it can be hard to identify our strengths. We’re faced with constant reminders of our challenges, opportunities for growth, and what’s NOT going well. That’s why we love the VIA Character Strengths tool. Character strengths are positive, innate traits that reflect the best of human qualities, such as kindness, perseverance, and gratitude. They differ from other abilities or skills like artistic, physical, or intellectual talents. You can take the quick quiz here (it’s free - yet, you do need to set up an account).
Research shows that identifying and using your character strengths can increase happiness and well-being; provide meaning and purpose; strengthen relationships; help manage stress and improve health; and support goal achievement.
Here are three tools to help you identify your strengths, through self-love:
Self-Reflection - Take time to reflect on your experiences, achievements, and challenges to identify patterns of success or areas where you feel most capable. Write down moments when you felt proud or accomplished in your caregiving role. Identify tasks or situations where you naturally excel or receive positive feedback. Ask yourself: What energizes me? What do I do well, even under pressure?
Strength Spotting in Daily Life - Pay attention to activities or situations where you feel confident, effective, or joyful. Note recurring patterns in your behaviors and choices. Observing your strengths in action reminds you of your capability and helps you see yourself through a positive lens. At the end of each day, identify three moments where you used at least one of your strengths (e.g., “I showed kindness by helping a friend” or “I used creativity to solve a problem”).
Write Yourself a Love Letter - What are all the things you LOVE about yourself? Send yourself a Valentine's Day card! Think of it as a gratitude exercise that focuses on self-appreciation. Consider writing down one thing about yourself that you’re grateful for every day this week. Try these: “I’m grateful for my ability to stay calm under pressure.” OR “I appreciate my sense of humor for bringing joy to difficult moments.”
Every caregiver has unique character strengths that they can draw on to support their well-being, enhance relationships, build resilience, and navigate their role with greater confidence, balance, and satisfaction. By identifying and leveraging YOUR strengths as a caregiver, you not only improve the quality of care but also support your own health and resilience, creating a more sustainable and rewarding caregiving experience.