Reframe Stress, and Get Unstuck
“Stress is not bad for you; being stuck is bad for you.” – Emily & Amelia Nagoski
One of the main challenges caregivers have to face is managing stress. This topic is so important at Courage to Caregivers that we spend much of our time looking for new resources and tools to help you manage stress. That’s because we discovered early on that stress is a natural part of caregiving – and of life – so we can’t eliminate it from our lives, no matter how much we would like to. What we can do is empower caregivers with the tools they need to better manage and cope with the stress of caregiving.
Managing and coping with stress are two different subjects, and we’ll discuss coping at a later date. This week is all about stress management, which involves developing a set of skills that help us eliminate the negative mental and physical responses that our bodies have to stress. This topic inspired us to develop the 7-Day Stress Management Challenge based on Dr. Elissa Epel’s book The Stress Prescription: 7 Days to More Joy and Ease. You can follow along with the challenge this week on our social media.
Another great resource is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. They link stress with burnout, two of the biggest challenges when it comes to caregiving. As they say, “Burnout starts with emotional exhaustion – the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long.”
Their point is that stress is part of life, but it doesn’t have to knock us flat. One way to manage stress is to reframe our internal and external stressors as challenges to be overcome, or opportunities for growth, rather than threats to our inner peace and calm. Here’s one more resource: a great article on reframing stress.
And finally, here are three tools to help you with stress management:
MAKE CONNECTIONS. When we stay socially connected – with friends, family, colleagues, or a support group – we start to normalize what caregiving looks and feels like. We are better able to reframe stressors as opportunities.
MAKE A LIST OF YOUR STRENGTHS. Include ALL of your strengths. Remind yourself that you are STRONG, and you’ve made it through 100% of your hardest days so far!
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Eliminate negative self-talk, regrets, and missed expectations. Focus on your body instead. Practice mindfulness – start by NOTICING; remember to BREATHE; practice SPIRITUALITY; whatever centers YOU.
And above all, MAKE A PLAN to manage the stress that will inevitably come your way. Make a plan on the good days, so you’ll always be prepared for the bad days. Focus on what brings YOU joy, and incorporate it into your self-care plan to counter the stress of caregiving. And then, be sure to remember to use that plan whenever you do encounter a bad day.