Preparing for a Journey Like No Other
"Tell your story because your story will heal you and it will heal someone else.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant
When I was expecting our first child, 34 years ago, we purchased a book titled “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” by Arlene Eisenberg. It had been recently published and was dubbed the “pregnancy bible.” We devoured it, quickly followed by “What to Expect the First Year.” We read the books, took all the classes we could, and followed the doctor’s orders (my husband had a LOT of questions). Even though we had plenty of experience as babysitters, camp counselors, and Sunday school teachers, we were as nervous as we could be – we (still) can’t believe they let us take home our little bundle of love. Yet, with all that preparation, we didn’t have a road map for what would come. (Back then, we would have gone to AAA and asked for a Triptik.)
When it comes to caregiving, mapping your journey is important because it helps you identify where you are, where you want to go, and the steps needed to get there. It provides clarity, fosters self-awareness, and allows you to set realistic goals and intentions. When you map your journey, you can proactively take steps to mitigate risks before challenges or crises arise. By reflecting on your progress and adjusting your course as needed, you will build resilience and stay aligned with your overall well-being.
While each caregiver’s journey is different, there are some things you can do to help you prepare. Here are three tools to help you map your journey:
NAVIGATION TOOLS: How and where are you going? What are your core values? What's most important to you and why? A personal mission statement is a summary of your values and goals. In just a few words, it explains who you are, what is important to you, and where you want to go in life. It describes the authentic you in a snapshot of a single sentence. Think of your personal mission statement as your guide map.
GEAR & SUPPLIES: What do you need for your journey? How will you take care of yourself, while caring for others? What’s in YOUR backpack? Consider packing self-compassion, mindfulness, acceptance, active listening, letting go, healthy coping strategies and boundaries.
CRISIS PLAN: It’s always good to be prepared for any type of potential scenario. What will you do in an emergency? Having a crisis plan helps you feel prepared and is a form of pre-coping. Focus on your strengths – what do you do really well – and build on those. What are your opportunities? Find ways to learn and grow. Our favorite resource is NAMI’s Navigating a Mental Health Crisis.
Having a “What to Expect” book for our journey as caregivers would be great, wouldn’t it? There are many caregiver books out there – guidebooks, handbooks, and toolkits all written by caregivers about THEIR journey. I’ve even heard from other caregivers that I should write a book about my caregiving journey or launch a podcast – maybe in my retirement? But there can be no “caregiver’s bible” because there simply isn’t “one way” to care. Still, there can be similarities in our journeys, and we may gain new insight from the experiences of others. That’s one reason why peer support can be so helpful.