You’re Good at Compassion – Save Some for Yourself
We can be so hard on ourselves at times. You know the feeling – that we’re not doing enough or we’re not good enough. But what would you say to a loved one who felt that way? You’d give them love and support, and you’d let them know it’s not true.
So, why is it hard for us to offer the same kind of compassion to ourselves? Sometimes, we all get so busy putting others first that we put ourselves last. We need a gentle reminder that we are just as deserving of compassion and love as those who receive our compassion and love.
As Dr. Kristin Neff says, self-compassion is really no different from having compassion for others. Compassion starts when you notice that someone is suffering. You are moved so that your heart responds to their pain, and you want to help in some way. You offer understanding and kindness when someone makes mistakes, rather than judging them harshly, and you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection are all part of the shared human experience.
“Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself,” Dr. Neff says. “Instead of just ignoring your pain with a ‘stiff upper lip’ mentality, you stop to tell yourself, ‘this is really difficult right now,’ how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”
Even during a global pandemic, you can learn to grow your self-compassion. Here are 10 self-compassion practices to help you do that. My favorite is #10, savoring and gratitude – giving ourselves permission to appreciate the simple things we have, such as savoring a nice meal or taking a walk in the fresh air. These small things enrich our lives and bring us joy in so many ways that we often overlook.
Self-compassion is a gift we give ourselves. The Golden Rule may tell us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But it’s equally important to treat ourselves as well as we would treat others. When that negative voice in your head starts to berate you, stop that thought, and replace it with compassion and kindness toward yourself. Give yourself a pep talk.
In doing so, you’re not only supporting yourself, but you’re also setting an example for your loved ones. Additionally, by showing yourself compassion, you increase your capacity to give compassion to others, so everyone wins!
We know you’re doing the best you can. It’s time YOU see it, too.