Understand, Accept, and Move Forward

This week’s subject – acceptance – should be easy, right? What should be more natural than to accept things as they are? But when that reality is not what we had expected, hoped or planned for, we tend to go into denial, the opposite of acceptance.
 
Our denial makes us think that we can continue our lives as if nothing has changed, but what it really does is keep us from moving forward – and doing what needs to be done.
 
I can point to two times in my life when I had trouble with acceptance. The first had to do with my brother’s mental illness. It took me a long time to understand that I had no power over his illness, but when I finally did understand, I was able to accept it and provide my full support.
 
The second time was in my journey of living with chronic pain for the past two-and-a-half years. I used to take my health and body for granted – until I became unhealthy and couldn’t move my body the way I always had. I discovered that I had to accept my pain before I could overcome it. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that I’m coping with it, as it’s become part of my life’s mantra.
 
In both cases, I learned that understanding is the key to acceptance, and acceptance does not mean giving up. As Michael J. Fox has said, “Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.”
 
It’s fitting that acceptance is our last topic in our theme of relationships, and a bridge to next week’s topic on social support networks. When it comes to relationships, think of all the people you can count on for support – who accept you, who are always there unconditionally, and who help you to look forward with HOPE. Acceptance makes relationships stronger, and with that kind of support, it’s hard to give up.
 
Understand, and accept, but NEVER give up on YOU. And never, ever give up on your loved one.