Show That You Care by Setting Healthy Boundaries

You probably know the feeling. I felt it a lot when I was caring for my brother. Maybe your loved one has a request. Something totally unexpected that will take a lot of effort and wreck your busy schedule, not to mention what it will do to your own emotions and well-being.
 
Your gut says “no,” but your heart says “yes.” You just can’t look at your loved one, with all of their expectations, full of hope, and turn them down. Even though you know it will add much more stress to your life.
 
Setting clear and healthy boundaries is so important to any relationship, and the relationship between caregiver and loved one is certainly no exception. By their very nature, caregivers can be reluctant to set boundaries – limits on how much you expect from yourself and how much your loved one can expect from you. But these boundaries are necessary to prevent burn-out and ultimately strengthen the foundation of the relationship. They’re often neglected, but they’re an important part of self-care.
 
As Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

PositivePsychology.com also has a lot to say on the subject: “Unlike more intuitive aspects of self-care like healthy eating and exercise, setting healthy boundaries isn’t something most people understand. For more people to experience greater well-being and fulfillment, they must learn about healthy boundaries.” Here are some suggestions they have on how to do just that.
 
Not all boundaries are good ones, however. I love what this author at HealthyPlace says about how to distinguish healthy boundaries from unhealthy ones. Ask yourself these questions:

• Am I setting this boundary for myself? to enhance my serenity?

• Am I setting this boundary as an attempt to control someone else’s behavior?

• Am I setting this boundary merely to antagonize someone else?

• Will this boundary honestly help me be a better person?

• Is this boundary still necessary? Do I need to let go of it?

I know that in my experience as a caregiver, setting healthy boundaries was crucial to my mental health. And Courage to Caregivers stands ready and willing to provide YOU support in setting and protecting your own healthy boundaries.