Realistic Optimism Means Staying in Balance
“Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the optimist as on the pessimist, but the optimist weathers them better.”
– from Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman
At Courage to Caregivers, empowerment is one of the three areas we focus on for caregivers, along with education and support. This week’s topic of realistic optimism is all about empowerment. It empowers us to learn from our failures, view risks as opportunities for growth, and find gratitude even in unmet expectations.
Now, the pessimist in you might say, “That’s a lot to expect from realistic optimism. Nothing can do all that.” But the realistic optimist might say, “I’m not sure it can do all that, but I’ll read on to learn more.”
If you’re still reading, congratulations! That’s a sign of a balanced mindset that goes hand in hand with realistic optimism. It means you’re willing to empower yourself through learning, growing, and having an open mind.
Optimism by itself is often considered to be an attitude of hope and confidence no matter what, but this kind of outlook can be more beneficial if it’s grounded in reality. Realistic optimism is a balanced approach that allows us to acknowledge the positives without being overwhelmed by the negatives. As a result, we can see situations more objectively, shift our energy toward those challenges where we can make a difference, and reframe our problems as opportunities rather than barriers to growth.
With realistic optimism, we understand that not every goal will be achieved exactly as planned, but each experience offers valuable lessons. By accepting the reality of both success and failure, realistic optimism helps us build the mental strength to stay persistent and resilient, cultivating a more fulfilling and growth-oriented life.
Realistic optimism is similar to learned optimism. Here are three areas to consider in developing tools for realistic optimism, inspired by the book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Martin E.P. Seligman.
Permanence – A realistic optimist sees adversities as moments they can bounce back from, not as permanent failures. Optimists believe that good things happen for a reason and don’t believe in coincidences.
Pervasiveness – Although adversities can often pervade other areas of our lives, optimists will look at these effects as temporary setbacks that are limited and fixable.
Personalization – Do you think of problems as your fault? Realizing that there are always outside factors helping to cause a bad situation allows us to reduce self-blame and negative self-talk.
Realistic optimism is optimism with a PLAN. It’s all about believing in YOUR ability to succeed and control YOUR thoughts and beliefs. With this attitude, YOU can develop a growth mindset, and problems become challenges to overcome, not roadblocks.