The Entanglement of Joy
“(Joy is) the light that emanates from us when we help each other carry our sorrows. And that notion of joy to me, it sort of suggests something of entanglement.” – Ross Gay
We’ve been talking about finding joy for a long time now because joy is a core emotion that can be so beneficial to caregivers when we need to counteract uncomfortable emotions such as sadness. So it may be surprising to find some new ideas on how to think about joy. Yet, that’s exactly what I discovered when I read the remarkable book Inciting Joy, a collection of essays by poet and author Ross Gay.
Gay focuses on the entanglement of joy. He defines joy as “the ways that we practice our entanglement. … And when I say entanglement, I mean like being fundamentally connected to one another. All of these things like gardening or pick-up basketball or skateboarding or … aspects of school at its best. … There are these sites where we get the opportunity to practice being entangled with one another.”
And he notices that we come together in sad or challenging times as much as we do in happy times. “What if joy is not only entangled with pain, or suffering, or sorrow, but is also what emerges from how we care for each other through those things,” he says.
We’ve mentioned before that it’s common for caregivers to feel uncomfortable about letting themselves experience joy when their loved one is suffering. This notion of entanglement may help. Our sorrows and connections can both lead to joy, and what matters is how we care for each other as a result. Remember, everyone deserves to feel joy and happiness, including YOU.
So here are three tools for inciting joy in YOUR life:
CONNECT & SHARE: When you have joy, share it. That connection might just be the spark someone else needs to feel more joy themselves.
SLOW DOWN & NOTICE: Micro-joys are all around us if you’re paying attention. When we move too fast because of our busy-ness, we might miss these moments.
LAUGHTER & GRATITUDE: Find ways to laugh more. It's hard NOT to feel joy when you're laughing. Gratitude also allows us to appreciate moments of joy. Share your gratitude with others!
Joy is a reflection of things that bring us together, and recognizing joy on a daily basis can be tremendously helpful in maintaining a positive outlook. It’s a boost to your soul, connects you to others, and can be contagious. You are worthy of experiencing joy and happiness, from small moments to major life events, without feeling guilt. Show the world YOU can be joyful!