How Do You Cope?

If you’ve been following us for a while, you’ve probably heard us mention what we call the “Seven C’s” of caregiving – “I didn’t CAUSE it; I can’t CURE it; I can’t CONTROL it; I can’t CHANGE it; yet, I can have COURAGE and COMPASSION; and I can COPE!”

That seventh C, coping, is so important because we all use coping mechanisms to help us get through stressful situations. But some ways of coping are healthy and helpful while others may ultimately cause us more harm than good. I’m talking about behaviors like alcohol or drug abuse, disordered or compulsive eating, self-harm, obsessive gambling, addiction to the computer or phone, or even being a workaholic. Any of these may provide some immediate results in reducing stress levels for the short term, but they could have a negative and possibly devastating effect on us both now and well into the future if we don’t control them.

So, to help us focus on healthy coping strategies and avoid the unhealthy ones, we decided to look at coping mechanisms as our topic for this week. Healthy coping mechanisms are strategies that we consciously use to help manage uncomfortable or painful feelings. In general, these behaviors are distractions from the current stressors, or they are simply methods of self-soothing. They allow us to remain emotionally stable – and at our best – when we face a crisis.

Some healthy coping strategies include:

• Writing or drawing about your feelings

• Exercising

• Spending time in nature

• Talking about the problem with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist

• Doing something that engages your senses, such as taking a warm bath, having a hot cup of tea, or stroking a soft pet

• Watching a funny movie or video

• Doing a task that will give you a sense of satisfaction when finished, such as cleaning a room or cooking a meal

There are many healthy ways to cope with stress. It all depends on what works best for you. Think about what you’ve done in the past to help you cope with a challenging situation. You may have developed your own coping mechanisms without even knowing it.

And did you know that healthy coping mechanisms provide additional benefits beyond allowing you to manage a specific problem? It has been found that improving our stress tolerance through coping also leads to heightened self-esteem. We begin to believe more in ourselves … that we are capable of managing any challenges or uncomfortable emotions.

So the next time a challenging situation is making you feel lonely, sad, nervous, or angry, remember how YOU have managed to survive all of your worst days in the past. Through healthy coping, you can survive this one, too.