Getting Real
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.” – William A. Ward
In our discussions this week, part of our focus has been on how our thinking can fall along a continuum from unrealistic pessimism to unrealistic optimism. We want to avoid the two extremes – the exaggerated negative thinking of unrealistic pessimism and the unrestrained positive thinking of unrealistic optimism – and move toward the more realistic center. And since we’re focused on personal growth and improvement, our topic this week is realistic optimism, which emphasizes the positives that could happen based on an accurate evaluation of reality and possible outcomes, rather than the negative outcomes that also could possibly occur.
When we have an attitude of realistic optimism, it helps us develop a growth mindset by looking at problems as challenges that we can overcome, not roadblocks that prevent us from meeting our goals. This enables us to realistically evaluate the situation, productively explore the solutions that are available to us, and rationally accept the outcome even if it doesn’t fully meet our expectations.
When you think about it, realistic optimism is an essential component of resilience. We display resilience when we can accept both the positives and the negatives with grace and tolerance. In this way, we can learn from our failures, treat risk as an opportunity for growth, and feel grateful for the positives even if there were some negatives as well.
Even though realistic optimism is a future-oriented attitude that emphasizes hope and confidence, it doesn’t mean having a naïve outlook. Simon Sinek explains the difference in this short video.
Here are some behaviors that can help you be a realistic optimist:
Have a positive attitude. Analyze challenges honestly. Don’t ignore problems, but focus on solutions.
Expect the unexpected, and remind yourself that you have the ability to adapt.
Don’t obsess about negative situations. When you start feeling too negative, try switching gears by focusing on a distraction that could improve your mood and get you into a better frame of mind.
Help others. Sometimes, the best way to forget about your own problems is to help someone else solve theirs.
Use humor to change a negative viewpoint. The ability to laugh at yourself or your situation can reduce its power to threaten or harm you.
Focus on self-care. When you take care of yourself by eating well, sleeping enough, exercising, and socializing, your mood improves, and your outlook becomes more positive and future-oriented.
The bottom line is that, with all of the negatives that we could focus on, it’s also OK to be positive about the future. Just be real about it. I’m optimistic that YOU can do it.