Set a Better Course by Letting Go

As caregivers, we may feel like we’re paddling a canoe upstream. It’s hard and exhausting, and it feels like we have no control. But have you ever noticed that when you choose to let go of what’s out of your control, you can free yourself and set a new course – a better direction for your journey as a caregiver?

Letting go is our topic for this week, as part of April’s new theme, “My Place in the World.” I know that letting go or surrendering can be perceived as a negative and can bring on feelings that we have failed or were just not able to finish a task or meet a goal. But it actually means we are recognizing that we have done all we can – we’re making the choice to stop struggling against what we can’t control and to use our energy in other ways that can make a difference.

When we’re ready to let go and surrender, we experience radical acceptance – recognizing the truth in life, even when it is painful or fails to meet our expectations. In other words, radical acceptance is an opportunity to choose not to live in our suffering, but rather to live life on its terms and to stop resisting those things that are impossible for us to change.

If we look at it through the lens of radical acceptance, letting go requires a high level of insight and wisdom. It shows that you have a true understanding of your own abilities and strengths, and an appreciation of the magnitude of the challenge. By letting go, we can reframe the situation to determine how we can best apply our strengths to help us grow, improve, and benefit those around us. It may even take us to a better destination than we were trying to get to in the first place.

This shift from control to surrender can be uncomfortable at first. We often become attached to a specific outcome that we believe is best, and this makes it hard to be aware of the alternatives that may be more practical and better in the long run. Surrendering allows us to acknowledge that we don’t always have the right answers, and it can bring a sense of relief when we discover that there may be a better course to take.

That’s why the phrase “surrender to win” is commonly used in peer support. It might sound like an oxymoron, but when you let go of fear, pain, insecurity, and resentment, you gain space in your life for love, hope, and peace.

And isn’t that what YOU deserve?