Navigating Grief is Tough – Learning to Live With It
"An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly." - Unknown
The current pandemic has brought with it many kinds of losses – including personal, social, financial, and even our sense of “life as we know it.” Any loss can make us feel grief, and that, appropriately, is our topic for this week.
Grieving can be both personal and communal. We’re all navigating this differently and may be feeling different kinds of personal losses, but we’re also feeling “collective grief.” We have all lost something in the last four months, and because of that, we’re all grieving together. This is hard.
In this article, Lucy Hone of the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience reminds us about the power of resilience. This can include tuning into the good that still remains, hunting out positive emotions, and keeping memories alive through routines and rituals. According to research, Hone says, “participating in rituals returns a feeling of control to the bereaved, and people who do so experience lower levels of grief.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is legendary when it comes to navigating grief and loss. This is one of my most favorite quotes of hers – when you read it insert ANY loss you have experienced – not just a loss of a loved one experienced through death. “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a love one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
Although we may never really “get over” the loss of a loved one – or any significant loss, for that matter – we do find new ways of coping and managing over time. Regarding this pandemic, I know that not one of us will emerge in the same way or as the same person we were four months ago. But it’s my hope that all of us, and the world around us, will change for the better.
That’s probably why I’ve dusted off all my go-to resources for facing loss during this pandemic. Here’s a list of some of my favorite grief and loss resources.
As a final note, tomorrow is an important day for us. It’s International Self-Care Day, and we've decided to celebrate with our very first Day of Giving in honor of our commitment to self-care for caregivers!
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