Forgive the Bad and Appreciate the Good

We have two topics this week, and they’re often considered to be opposites, but they’re really both forms of kindness and self-empowerment. Forgiveness is about being kind, making peace with life when we don’t get what we want, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, remembering that we all fail at times, and retelling our story with us as the hero instead of the victim. Gratitude is recognizing the good things that happen and appreciating the gifts that we are given.

But forgiving does not mean forgetting. We don’t have to accept bad behavior or disregard bad experiences before we can forgive. However, when we refuse to forgive, we allow an experience to remain in control of our feelings and to continue causing damage every time we remember it. We regain control by forgiving, which allows us to choose what we remember and to reframe our role from victim to survivor.  

Forgiving allows us to empower ourselves by showing kindness to others. It enables us to let go of all the feelings of bitterness and resentment that we might have after being hurt. It can also turn self-pity into self-empathy as we recognize that we may be powerless to change something at this moment, but we are resilient, and life will offer us plenty of opportunities to do great things.

And … it’s also important to remember to forgive ourselves when we need to … because we’re all perfectly imperfect works in progress.

By forgiving and letting go of the negative emotions associated with something that went wrong, we can free up space within ourselves for more positive feelings such as gratitude for things that go right. Gratitude reminds us that life will never be all rainbows and unicorns, but we have the choice to focus our attention on appreciating the good while we’re also dealing with the bad. 

And again … remember to have gratitude for all of the positive things YOU bring to the world, as well.

For more on the positive effects of gratitude, check out these three great articles: How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times, How Gratitude Motivates Us to Become Better People, and Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal. And here’s one particularly interesting piece of advice from the journaling article: “Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude.”

For me, I feel gratitude every day for everyone we work with at Courage to Caregivers, and with Thanksgiving just one week away, I want to thank you all. We could not do this important work without YOU.