Beating Loneliness Through Self-Connection
“Loneliness is a subjective feeling where the connections we need are greater than the connections we have.” – Dr. Vivek Murthy
You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.
Caregivers often feel alone when the loved ones we care for are withdrawn or unable to connect with the rest of the world in traditional ways. We also can get caught up in always trying to do something for someone else. This can lead to a feeling of loneliness as we disconnect from the rest of the world … and even from ourselves. Unchecked over the long term, this disconnect can make it hard for us to identify our own needs and seek support from others when we need it. To break through the loneliness, we need to find healthy ways to reconnect with others and ourselves.
For help, I’ve turned to the words of Dr. Vivek Murthy. I highly recommend his book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World for anyone who feels isolated and wants to build stronger connections.
From the book, here are three tools for breaking through loneliness:
TIME: “Spend time each day with those you love. Consider 15 minutes each day to connect with those you most care about.” This can be done in-person, by phone, via FaceTime or Zoom, or any other way that helps you connect with others.
SELF-CONNECTION: “The first step toward building stronger connections with others is to build a stronger connection with oneself. Solitude helps us to do that by allowing us to check in with our own feelings and thoughts, explore our creativity, and connect with nature.”
HELP & BE HELPED: “Service is a form of human connection that reminds us of our value and purpose in life. Giving and receiving, both, strengthen our social bonds.”
Dr. Murthy notes that our true nature is love, and that fear is not who we are or who we’re meant to be. And because our relationships help us feel love, maintaining strong human connections can bring healing to a lonely world.
We are social beings, and connection with others is a key factor in our overall well-being and our ability to manage the impact of stress. But first, we must reconnect with ourselves to eliminate our own barriers of loneliness that prevent us from connecting with those around us.
At Courage to Caregivers, we believe loneliness can be squelched by the power of community. Feeling seen and understood, with no obligation to explain our situation or our feelings, can be powerful and healing. We’re ALL about building strong connections, with YOU.