Sometimes We Have to Say “No”
“When you learn to say yes to yourself, you will be able to say no to others, with love.” – Alain Cohen
It can be one of the most difficult things we have to do – saying no. But sometimes it’s the right thing to do. As we navigate our way through our lives, we can’t be all things to all people. It’s natural that some opportunities, tasks, or commitments simply don’t align with where we are at this point in our journey. Learning to say no is an essential skill for protecting our time, energy, and well-being. While it may be uncomfortable and even against our nature to say no, it’s a powerful way to set healthy boundaries and prioritize what truly matters.
Every time we say yes, we agree to commit a portion of our limited time, energy, and other resources to that task, and we may find out later that we need those resources for something else that’s more important to us. Saying yes too often can also cause burnout as we become overwhelmed by the obligations we have taken on.
On the other hand, saying no can help us preserve our resources, avoid burnout, and maintain a healthy balance. When we decline tasks or commitments that aren’t in line with our current goals or values, we can turn our focus to the things that contribute most to our personal growth and well-being.
Here are three tools that can help you learn to say no:
BE DIRECT AND HONEST. Politely but firmly state that the request doesn’t align with your current priorities. You don’t need to over-explain. You might simply say, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I have to pass on this right now.”
OFFER AN ALTERNATIVE. If appropriate, suggest another person or a time when you might be more available. For example: “I can’t take this on right now, but I could revisit it next month, if that works.”
USE EMPATHY, BUT STAY FIRM. Acknowledge the importance of the request, but maintain your boundary. You might say, “I understand this is important, but I need to focus on other commitments right now.”
When you prioritize your own needs, goals, and well-being, you are saying yes to yourself. You’re acknowledging your limits, recognizing what truly matters to you, and making decisions that honor your own mental, emotional, and physical health. Understanding the need to say yes to yourself allows you to say no to others with kindness and love, not as a rejection of them, but as a reflection of your self-awareness and care for both your needs and theirs.
Saying no is a right and doesn’t require an explanation. Saying yes to yourself is also a right. It empowers YOU to set loving, healthy boundaries that ultimately benefit not only you but everyone around you.