Your Strength Is Inspiring, but It Doesn’t Define You
It happens to all of us at one time or another. We feel overwhelmed by life’s constant struggles and barriers that we want to say “enough.” Even though people might say they admire how strong we are, we sometimes get tired of having to be so strong all the time. This is hard for us, and we’re no superhero … we’re just doing the best we can.
That’s why I’ve stopped telling other people, “You’re so strong.” Personally, I’ve found those words to be dismissive of my true feelings when they’re said to me, and I’ve discovered that other caregivers feel the same way. Instead, I’ve started saying something like, “That does sound hard. I’m proud of you.”
Which is all a long lead-in to this week’s topic: strength amidst adversity. While everyone experiences times of stress and disappointment, when we feel that we just aren’t strong enough, it’s important to realize that the way we fight through adversity is entirely within our control … even though it is hard. In this way, adversity can also be viewed as an opportunity to grow by gaining new strength.
Some of my favorite coping strategies from last week’s discussion on learning from mistakes – noticing, reframing, and normalizing – are just as helpful for finding strength amidst adversity. First, we have to notice the adversity, then we can reframe it into an opportunity, and then we can normalize it as just another one of life’s challenges in our journey of self-growth.
And here are four additional tools that may help you find strength amidst adversity:
USE HUMOR to lighten the situation. A good belly laugh releases feel-good chemicals in your brain and helps lift your mood.
BE MENTALLY PREPARED. Plan for a worst-case scenario, but recognize that it is unlikely to happen. A plan helps you to be thoughtful about your actions rather than reacting emotionally to something that’s unexpected.
RECOGNIZE PAST SUCCESSES. Knowing that you have survived other crises and calamities in the past can help you with whatever you’re dealing with in the present.
MAKE PEACE WITH THE SITUATION. Realize what you can and can’t control, and let go of anything you can’t impact. Acceptance can bring relief.
Remember, it takes courage to get up every day and face roadblocks that get between you and the life you want. It also takes courage to recognize when you aren’t in control, and it takes courage to ask for help. Continuing to fight the battle is evidence of YOUR courage and YOUR ability to get stronger every day.