“You Can Get There from Here”
This week’s topic is one of our favorites here at Courage to Caregivers. We love talking about hope … how it helps us create a vision for the future and get through the challenges of today … how we can further develop our own hope as part of a growth mindset … and how we can be a hopegiver to increase the hope of those around us.
But before we can talk about hope, we have to understand what it is and what it isn’t. Hope is NOT a wish, dream, or desire. It’s not optimism, which is an attitude that always expects good outcomes. And it’s not positivity, which is a bias that things will always work out well for us, regardless of the circumstances.
Hope IS … a science that is measurable … an action verb … an intention that represents desire mixed with perseverance and tenacity … a coping resource for stress … a path forward that can change the destiny of trauma survivors … and the single best predictor of short- and long-term outcomes and overall well-being.
What’s more, hope can be learned, it can be shared with others, and perhaps the best news of all, you can increase the hope of those around you by being a hopegiver or a hope model. This is important because some of us may be supporting loved ones who need our support not only as caregivers but also to help replenish their hope. (However, there are times when someone may feel truly hopeless and need professional services. In those cases, remember that help is available 24/7 from the National Suicide Prevention lifeline by calling 988, or by texting 4HOPE to 741741, the Crisis Text Line.)
For me, hope is like a light, not at the end of the tunnel, but shining with us inside the tunnel, showing us the way as we travel on our long caregiving journey. With hope, WE are the light, and we have the ability to light our own path.
And here are five tools that may help you illuminate your own path of hope:
Set a Goal: Maybe even a micro-goal. Any kind of goal is future-oriented thinking.
Believe: Reframe your challenges as new possibilities and opportunities for growth.
Find Your People: Surround yourself with high-hope people.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself and others. You're doing the best you can in this moment. Stop the negative self-talk, and replace it with positive affirmations.
Ask for Help (and Hope): Compassionate listening leads to caring conversations.
Hope helps us create a vision for the future and motivates us to take action on things we can control. In other words, as stated by Rick Snyder, the developer of Hope Theory, “Hope means … you can get there from here.”
You can be a hope model, too, for others and for YOU.