Celebrating Our Material and Non-Material Successes
This week’s topic involves a subject that is different for everyone. We all have our own ideas of what success looks like -- whether it’s material possessions, professional accolades, or financial security – or non-material things such as accomplishing daily tasks while struggling emotionally, courageously trying new things in spite of anxiety, resisting temptation while battling addiction, or mastering a new skill. Whatever success is for you, we’re celebrating that success.
And when I think of success, I think about celebrating our individual “gifts” – those strengths that make you uniquely YOU. Maybe it’s your ability to organize or manage your to-do list. Maybe you’re crafty or are an excellent party planner. Perhaps you push yourself outside your comfort zone. For me, one of my strengths is problem solving (and empowering others to be their own problem solvers). Make a list of your unique strengths, keep it handy, and celebrate them. If you’re having trouble identifying your strengths, try one of our favorite resources – VIA character strengths finder. The quiz is free, but you do need to create an account to take it.
Another suggestion I have is that you pledge to both GIVE and RECEIVE a non-material gift. No matter what you celebrate – Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or HumanLight (a secular humanist holiday observed every year on December 23 to celebrate the human values of compassion, reason, hope, and humanity) – you’ll probably exchange material gifts with friends and loved ones. But if you’re like most caregivers I know, it’s easier to find a gift for someone else, and you’re not very good at asking for what YOU need. That’s why I want to challenge you to ask for a non-material gift that you need and give a non-material gift that comes from one of your strengths.
Here are some non-material gift suggestions:
Be an active listener. Try to be fully present for at least one conversation today. Lean in and listen with your entire body and all your senses.
Show compassion. Does someone you care about need a dose of kindness? Can you practice empathy for someone going through something hard today? Do you need some self-compassion?
Act on your curiosity. Try something new. Push yourself outside your comfort zone. Invite a friend on an outing to explore somewhere new. Or revisit an old hobby you loved.
Seek and provide encouragement. Who lifts you up or brightens your day? Who do you know that needs a pick-me-up?
Express forgiveness. Is there someone you need to forgive? How can you ask for or show forgiveness?
Maintain healthy boundaries. Remember that “NO” is a complete sentence.
Cultivate your inner calm. It all starts with noticing – and your breath. Who can you take a few deep breaths with today?
Be judgment-free. How can you be more accepting of others? Set an example by treating others the way you want to be treated.
Be hopeful, and be a hope-giver. You can give and get hope. Lean on others, and ask for help when you need it. Be a hope-giver by sharing your story, being honest with others, listening with empathy and openness, and refraining from judgment.
And here’s a gift from our funding partner, the ADAMHS Board of Cuyahoga County: Their annual Coping with the Holidays booklet covers topics such as Tips for Overcoming Holiday Stress and Seasonal Affective Disorder.
No matter how you cope with and celebrate the holidays, remember that you’ve had a lot of successes this year. So be sure to celebrate YOU.