Three New Strategies for Dealing with Mistakes

As we begin a new month with a new theme – courage – I want to share with you an “aha” moment that happened to me many years ago. When I was too young to know better, I once hurt a friend’s feelings in her time of need, and I didn’t even notice. Thankfully, that friend had the courage to let me know of my mistake and what she needed from me. I have never forgotten that, and it has forever changed the way I feel about supporting friends in their time of need.

Fast-forward to today, and that leads us to our topic for this week: learning from our mistakes. Of course, we all make mistakes, but the good news is that we can look at them as opportunities to grow rather than as evidence of failure. And there are three coping strategies I’ve learned recently from colleagues at Courage to Caregivers that can guide us in our efforts to grow from our mistakes.

The first is noticing. My younger self didn’t notice that I had hurt a friend. But when she told me, I realized my mistake. It may be obvious that we first need to be aware of our mistakes before we can learn from them, but when I was younger, I lacked that self-awareness. Noticing requires presence, stillness, self-awareness, and mindfulness. And once we gain this awareness, it takes courage to admit our mistakes and then to do something about them.

The second strategy is reframing, which involves looking at a situation, relationship, or experience in a new way by changing its meaning. When we reframe a mistake into an opportunity for learning, we can then discover how it might help us grow and improve, and maybe benefit us and those around us. Think of it as opening a different path that might even turn out better than the one we were on to begin with.

The third strategy is normalizing, which is essentially acknowledging our mistakes as part of being human. It’s very powerful to tell a child, loved one, or co-worker that we have made a mistake. By normalizing, we feel safe to admit our mistakes, and we set an example for others to do so, as well.

Admitting a mistake can be empowering. By accepting our mistakes and taking responsibility for them, we gain strength and confidence in our ability to learn and improve. So, instead of trying to shift blame or ignoring the consequences the next time you make a mistake – and there will be a next time – accept responsibility for it, and treat it as an opportunity for YOU to make things better.