Spend More Time in the Middle
Our theme this month is all about having a growth mindset, which is a powerful force for self-improvement. Keeping our minds focused on personal growth enables us to develop new skills, embrace challenges, overcome setbacks, and reach our full potential.
However, there are many barriers that may make it hard for us to develop a growth mindset. One such barrier is thinking in extremes or polarized thinking. This is a way of looking at the world from an all-or-nothing viewpoint. Either it’s one way or the other. We’re either good or bad. You’re either with me or against me. There’s no room for anything in the middle.
Having a growth mindset helps us realize that we control our thoughts, they don’t control us, and we don’t have to be locked into polarized thinking. We can stop, take a breath, and think about the world of possibilities between the two extremes. We can find greater understanding when we are willing to spend time in the middle.
Negative self-talk is an example of extreme thinking. How many times do you find yourself saying things like “I can't do this” … “This doesn’t work” ... “I don’t know” ... “It doesn’t make sense” ... “I don’t get it” ... “I’m not good at this” ...? If this sounds like you, try these 6 Essential Strategies to Break the Cycle of Negative Thinking.
There are many strategies that can help you change either/or thinking and adopt a healthier outlook:
Keep what you do separate from who you are. A single poor performance at home or work doesn’t define your overall character.
Write down potential outcomes. What would happen differently if you made a different decision?
Try a reality check. Write short factual statements in your journal to remind yourself of different options.
Find out what other people think. Ask questions, and explore other perspectives to remind yourself that there are other ways to see the issue.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is also a fantastic option. It’s about seeing and trying to understand the different perspectives in every scenario. DBT is therapeutic, but it’s also a life skill that is most beneficial when BOTH people are involved.
When you break the cycle of polarized thinking, you can transform your negative self-talk into a positive affirmation through the power of YET:
I can't do this ... YET
This doesn't work ... YET
I don't know ... YET
It doesn't make sense ... YET
I don't get it ... YET
I'm not good at this ... YET
Remember, you’re a perpetual work in progress, and with a growth mindset, anything is possible for YOU.